01 A Needed Break

posted 8th Feb 2017, 10:42 PM

01 A Needed Break
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author comments

20th Feb 2017, 12:21 AM


Thanks a lot for your review, it helps a lot :)

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user comments

19th Feb 2017, 5:12 PM


I am responding to your request on the Tapastic Forums for a review.

1. Grammar
Page 01-- "I'm running for two days without stopping!" should be "I've run for two days without stopping".

"I'm running..." indicates that she still intends to run, not that she is about to stop running and take a break.

Also, you are missing an "e" in the page title.

Page 03--
"I was seeing you would never stop... Commander."
"Thinking" would be better than "seeing".

"Thinking" is more indicative of expectation than "seeing" is.
"I had to worn out 3 horses just to follow you."
"Worn" should be "wear". Alternatively, she could say "I wore out 3 horses trying to follow you".

Page 10-- "But, they fit perfectly!"
I would get rid of the "but".

Page 13-- "...An unknown organization..."
I am not sure that this is actually a mistake, but it is possible that you mean "a mysterious organization".

"Unknown" indicates they know that an organization is responsible, but they do not know which one.
"Mysterious" indicates that they know which organization is responsible, but they don't know much about that organization.

Page 16-- "You have the courage..."
"Courage" has a good connotation, which makes it less likely to be used by someone who is angry.

An enraged individual is more likely to say "you dare to" or "you have the gall to", as those have slightly more negative connotations.

Other than the above, the grammar is fine.

2. Is it interesting to read?
I like it

3. Art
I am not experienced enough with art to give an adequate answer. However, it does seem to have subtly improved from Page 01 to 17. I like the style.

4. The Website
The website is easy to navigate, and has nice coloring.

5. Am I likely come back to check on it?
Yes, I will probably keep an eye on it and maybe even subscribe after a while.

Overall, the comic was enjoyable.

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